i've been learning things about myself over the weekend.
yst i learnt that i really am a spoilt brat. over the years i've tried to convince myself that even though i'm the only child, i'm not spoilt. but yes, today i admit. i am spoilt. because i throw a silent tantrum if i don't get my way the first time. and subsequently if it's given to me i won't take it anymore.
today i learnt that i actually have a very low tolerance for people who give me wrongly, the stuff that i ask for. [i don't even know if that sentence structure is correct. whatever] i bet you the person purposely gave me the wrong thing after i went back to change. i think i have a deadly stare that can silence. i think. i may be wrong.

the house has been painted. but. but. but. aiyah. come and see the changes yourself.
i will never want to have someone paint the house ever again. i think i rather do it myself. honestly.
the lighter colour is fine. i dont' like the dark colour. >.<

alright. i have been baking. can say now that i've given my love the stuff! :)
learnt to bake pineapple tarts from scratch this year [finally]. and yes, from scratch. cooking the pineapple and putting the dough tgt kind of from scratch. it's quite satisfying! i just wished i had rmbed to put in the tray when i baked my batch of tarts. then the pineapple wouldn't have harden up. :( my pastry owns my mothers though! :D 
cornflake cookies are damn easy to make compared to pineapple tarts. though i dunno why this years doesn't taste as good as last years. :( maybe i'm getting old. :(

i need to sleep now because i am angry and tired [relatively].
and i have work tmrw.

been on many secret missions recently! and i really want them to be good surprises, so i shall refrain from saying anything here lest i reveal anything. =x
but i'm happy cause things are working out! :)

i officially start work on mon! no more a bum. :D 
it's a flexible timing with *ahem* a god given pay.
i'm happy! :)

i shall stop here with my sparse post, shall update more when the revelation of all the secret things i've been doing is here! 

i admire those people with creative juices flowing through their bodies. :(
those who can doodle, design, paint and draw, take beautiful pictures.
i like works of art, and i would love to have things that i can call my own.
but, for the life of me, i can't do art. :( 
i guess i shall just resign to looking and admiring.

saturdays are super tiring. :( 
driving [theory] at 9,
alum choir at 10,
church tuition at 2,
cell at 430.
and then the cousins come over so i leave early for cell to eat dinner with them.
aye. i wonder how i have suvived the past 3 saturdays.

i am still lamenting the fact that i won't be around on 14feb and 2march.
the two [sort of] most important days in our first year tgt [considering that everyday spent tgt should be an impt day]. and yet i can't spend it tgt with him. :( :( :(
hurry come backkkk.

i am irritated.
i am irritated that cny and valentine’s day clashes and that i won’t be in singapore.
i am irritated that my mum [unknowingly] booked tickets to penang such that i won’t be in singapore during my anniversary.
i am irritated that she comes home with pain and takes it out on me.
i am irritated that she shows her displeasure when i help her, and i corrected the wrong that i did but she didn’t understand what i was saying.
i am irritated that she didn’t tell me she wanted to see a doc and stay home because of the pain.
i am irritated that because of that, i was like an idiot trying to wake her up at 4 different timings today.
i am irritated about the way she treated me this morning.
i am irritated about my schedule this morning.
i am irritated.

i think i should go to the gym later and run everything off. anyway, no one would be at home. who cares if i’m not home by 6 anyway.

painting nails needs inspiration. for the past 24 hours i've painted my nails twice and removed them twice. just not in the mood to paint nails i guess. the nails shall just have to go naked for now.

and right. i didn't come to blog about my nails.

i am disappointed and furious.
it's highly irresponsible to quit on something you got yourself into, knowing fully the consequences. if you didn't know, you can be forgiven. but, you knew! that really makes me mad.
we understand the nature of our job, and that's why we make it clear to all who applied, about what the job entails, what to expect and how it will affect other areas of your life.
once you didn't care about anything else but us. you wanted to get yourself into it, and into the biggest mess of it all. you talked, talked big. and now, you call time out.
like as if the rest of the people are doing better than you. like as if the rest of the people don't face problems from their family.
selfish. that's the only word that came to mind.
i know it's prolly none of my business.
but i just can't help it.
if only someone would have listened to me then.

but from this, i have come to identify the others who show true love. and that is comforting.

with every bad thing that happens, there is something good that will come out of it.