21predilections (21predilections) wrote,

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another season of learning

i don't know what i've done wrong. 
it seems like i've been trying to do my best, i've been doing all i can; but i still make stupid mistakes, but it's still not enough. 
this week alone i've had enough of being a failure for my team. first was the decision to continue training even though it had rained. so apparently the coach was fuming when she told us the conditions in which she wouldn't train, and we still went ahead to call for training. and then there was the issue of not enough jerseys to go around. i honestly tried my best given the constraints, but apparently it's not good enough. 

i'm having a hard time repositioning myself in the team. even though the head knows that i neither have the skills not the speed to be a main player at this level, the heart still hurts. 

as the captain and president, i can't help but feel that there are areas in which i have failed. 

another steep learning curve, this season has been. 
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